Prayer

           "Everything is more complicated than 
          you think. You only see a tenth of
          what is true. There are a million 
          little strings attached to every
          choice you make; you can destroy
          your life every time you choose.
          But maybe you won't know for twenty 
          years. And you'll never ever trace
          it to its source. And you only get
          one chance to play it out. Just try 
          and figure out your own divorce.
          And they say there is no fate, but
          there is: it's what you create. 
          Even though the world goes on for 
          eons and eons, you are here for a 
          fraction of a fraction of a second. 
          Most of your time is spent being
          dead or not yet born. But while 
          alive, you wait in vain, wasting
          years, for a phone call or a letter 
          or a look from someone or something 
          to make it all right. And it never
          comes or it seems to but doesn't
          really. And so you spend your time
          in vague regret or vaguer hope for
          something good to come along. 
          Something to make you feel
          connected, to make you feel whole,
          to make you feel loved.
            And the truth is I'm so angry and
           the truth is I'm so fucking sad, 
           and the truth is I've been so
           fucking hurt for so fucking long 
           and for just as long have been 
           pretending I'm ok, just to get 
           along, just for, I don't know why, 
           maybe because no one wants to hear 
           about my misery, because they have 
           their own, and their own is too
           overwhelming to allow them to
           listen to or care about mine.
           Well, fuck everybody.
           Amen."