Bed Cartography







Motto

And now that I'm feeling more "can-do" and optimistic about things

(and I've had my brief explitive-laden whine),

here's a somewhat more proactive, practical, makes-perfect-sense approach towards living (fail-proof I tell you):



vOOdOO trance

I just did a big fat casting-out of some bad karma in my life. 

So all I have left to say on that subject is:

 ...and now that I've got that off my chest,

I can focus on being as mellow as this voodoo trance couple from the 1960s.

(oh man, they're so beautiful.

I want to meet them.

I want to be them.

but there won't be any animal sacrifices, only sexy-ass swaying in a hot over-crowded room). 

word.

oh man.

Nori Crisps

I realise I haven't done any food posts in ages; truth be told my camera has packed up and I find it immensely frustrating taking food photos with my smartphone. The picture quality is shit and all the food comes out looking like a depressing dish from the 1970s...not because the food is depressing but because the damn phone saps all of the colour and life out of the food.

Anyway, as I've probably mentioned before, chips are my downfall. I can eat as healthily as I want but I can easily work my way through copious amounts of salt and vinegar chips which, I guess, are fine in moderation but I don't tend to moderate. So my skin and kidneys suffer as a result. 

I read at some point that your body never craves any particular food per se but generally more a texture of a food. I'm not sure how convinced I am about that since a crispy apple does sweet nothing to curb my chip cravings. 

However, I have found that these Nori crisps tend to hit the spot. As you'll be aware, seaweed is really good for you, fat-free, low-calorie and accordingly, guilt-free (and easier on the skin and kidneys). 

What you'll need: 

• 1 pack nori seaweed
• 1 tbsn sesame oil
• 2 tbsn rice vinegar
• 1 tsp soy sauce 
• 1 tsp agave nectar (optional) 

Preheat the oven to about 180 degrees celsius. 

Mix the oil, vinegar, soy sauce and agave nectar in a bowl. 

Cut each nori sheet into four squares and place each square on a baking tray. 

Brush each nori square with some of the oil mixture. 

Place the nori sheets in the oven for about three minutes (be sure to keep an eye on them as they burn quite easily). The nori sheets should be a slightly darker colour and crispy. 

Serve and enjoy! 

Bladerunner Tattooed

My mom and I went to get our tattoos in memory of her mom/ my gran a few Saturdays ago. We went to our usual haunt Bladerunner Tattoos (which is run and owned by the very talented Geoff Squires). 

We took a book in which my gran had written her name and got the tattoos inked in her hand-writing, which was really special. My mom was so happy afterwards and I think this was definitely the perfect first tattoo for her. 

crazy hoochie-glowing-bug-eyed-bitch always bombs the photo.
suave posing is impossible in this house. 

Divine Idylle

I ran into the coolest Congolese car guard the other day who started this crazy rapid-fire conversation with me in french while he was helping Ric and me pack our groceries into the car. It's been ages since I've spoken french but I was surprised at how much I remembered and it was so refreshing (read: terrifying) to be speaking it again. So, thanks to Bernard, I went to Alliance Francaise in order to join its library, Dibuka.

The place has an awesome collection of (really messed-up as only french film can be) movies, books and music and you don't need to be a student there in order to use the facilities. I used to do classes there while I was at varsity and it was wonderful being there again; you feel cultured by proxy as soon as you hear people chatting away in french and you're like "chouette dudes et dudettes!"   

So I've been doing some self-sponsored refreshment courses consisting of reading hugely geeky french graphic novels (who thought they could be so engrossing?), listening to sugar-sweet french pop (which somehow never sounds as cheesy when it's in french) and watching (predictably) stomach-churning french films. 

Ric is going to take the beginners course in french next year so that while he learns, I can refresh and eventually we can chat away in french like Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre. yep. just like that. 

if my name wasn't my name, my name would be Severin

Catharina

It's my gran's birthday today.

It will be four years on Friday since she died.

It all happened so quickly 

that I still can't quite believe she's gone. 

I'm thankful that I got to tell her how much I loved her, 
I'm so thankful that I knew her. 

But I seem to miss her more as time passes.

She was so influential in my life.
My biggest champion.

On Saturday

me and my mom

 are going to get her initials

tattooed

onto

 us.
in memoriam
of our beloved
Catharina.



Australian Animal Liberation Demonstration

"Around one hundred activists clutching the bodies of dead animals assembled in the centre of Melbourne, Australia, to protest violence and neglect towards animals. The protestors, from Animal Liberation Victoria (ALV), silently held dead sheep, pigs, kangaroos, chickens, fish, ducks and other species, claiming they wish to draw attention to the ' hidden suffering of animals in Australia and around the world'. The carcasses were found by ALV's rescue team, many of them dead or dying inside industrial animal factories, in paddocks or hit by vehicles and left to die, according to the organisation. ALV says the cruel treatment of animals is 'one of the world's largest social justice issues' and said similar displays of respect for the billions of animal victims have taken place in Spain, Chile, France, Germany and Peru.'We are here today to draw attention to the fact that humans are currently responsible for the slaughter of 64 billion land animals around the world each year, and between one and three trillion sea animals,' said ALV’s campaign co-ordinator Noah Hannibal.'Like us, these animals have an interest in living and not suffering and we cannot ignore their interests simply because they do not belong to our species.'"

- Daily Mail

  

  

Incredible Miss Fox

We can easily identify the breeds in most of our pavement specials; Dinah is a Chihuahua-cross-Whippet (cross-bug-eyed-hoochie-bitch), Lua is a Maltese-cross-Terrier (cross-hates–big-dogs-and-small-kids-bitch) and Albie is a Lab-cross-Collie (cross-chewy-toy-fanatic-and-water-lover). As for Cassidy? We have no clue. Niks. Nada. I was filling in forms for her the other day and I had to record her breed (after being warned explicitly not to record “mutt”). I thought about labelling her a "ginger inja" but decided instead on “miniature Africanus” because that sounds romantic and cutting edge and oh so cool. Trolling through my favourite blogs earlier today I finally discovered just what the heck she is. 

A FOX.

She’s as quick-witted and sly as a fox and the other day at the park she had the unfortunate experience of being hounded like a fox by a big-ass pack of dogs. You see Cassidy is a pre-emptive diva. Whenever a bigger dog comes up to her in the park she will start howling like a banshee when the dog crosses over into her 1-metre, shit-fitting, radius. There has been many a time when Cassidy’s howls of psychic pain have spurred other dog owners into chastising their dogs for hurting Cassidy. Cassidy’s never been hurt, she’s just a big baby.  

On the day in question, a big black French poodle whom I shall call “la Floozy” (because the lady dog isn’t very bright or well-behaved and is consequently somewhat maligned at the park by other dog owners) walks up to Cassidy. When she comes within one meter of her, Cassidy flips out and starts up with her usual blue-murder howling. So la Floozy is like “fucking A” and jumps right onto Cassidy, which starts her on even more shrill and intense howling.

My mom and I were about ten meters away sussing out the situation and waiting for la Floozy’s (similarly maligned owner) to reign her in. But no. Cassidy darts away like a mad dog with la Floozy and a further five, very intrigued, increasingly riled-up dogs, hot on her tail. I finally realise that the situation may just be less funny and more serious than I thought when I see la damn Floozy take a big bite of Cassidy’s (skinny) bum. No flesh was torn off but there was a palpable and recognizable “mouth-full-of-cassidy’s-running-bum” in la Floozy’s running mouth. And then I was like “oh man”.

So I set off chasing the dogs who are chasing la Floozy who is chasing cross-eyed-with-terror Cassidy all over the park. Cassidy is howling and pooping herself (literally) when I notice, mid-sprint, that a half-naked man with tribal tattoos all over his body is frantically trying to chase down the whole group of us. So, of course, I stop for a second and think “WTF?!”.

My mom finally manages to call some sense into Cassidy who finally regains her focus and darts right between my mom’s waiting legs. After we had appeased the panting and indignant Cassidy with water, love and pats of “it’s okay Cassie, it’s okay, you’re alive, breathe Cassie, just breathe, have some more water” and we thanked the kindly tattooed man for his chivalry, we were ready to get the hell out of the park.

You would think Cassidy would have learnt a lesson out of this experience about keeping her clap-trap mouth shut but I have a sneaking suspicion that this was only the first of a series of rounds between la damn Floozy and the incredible (incredulous?) miss Fox.

C'est vrai, n'est pas?

"Minor Differences" courtesy of The Oatmeal

Thought for the Day

Oh man, Shahir Zag, I love you.

You're a man after my own heart.

Dearest Lily

I came across Lily's story yesterday and must admit that I feel super ignorant for not having known about her before then. What an inspiring, beautiful dog with an incredibly bitter-sweet story. I was in tears.

Lily didn't live for long after she had been rescued from a dog auction, where a broke-ass unethical shit-for-brains puppy-mill owner was selling off the remainder of her/his "produce" following bankruptcy. Lily was, however, loved like she deserved to be loved during her final 15 months of life.

Please have a look at her story below and please, please don't ever support pet shops or breeders. As long as there is a demand in these industries, dogs like Lily will be bred, exploited and neglegted to death (Lily was bred around 17 times...that's about 100 puppies).

Es Tut Mir Leid

Beautiful Blog.

I sincerely apologise for not posting on your lovely wall for so long.

There have been exciting (exciting?)

things underfoot at,

wait for it,

work (work? yup, work.)

which have been taking up most of my

spare time

and -all of- my

spare energy.

I will make every attempt to write again soon

(when I wrote that it was intended as a lie...

but now that I've started writing again I'm feeling nostalgic).

Sorry for neglecting you.

See you soon.

Littlebones.